#39 - 21 February 2009 - "Halfway home..."

In the seemingly infinite time that I have spent in California (in reality, it's only been 33 days...) I've been asked virtually the same two questions from everyone: First, "Is it what you thought it would be (the 'it' being The French Laundry and the stage) experience", and second, "What's the most important thing you've learned...?"

I thought on these questions all day yesterday as I prepared to go back to work - the same mental preperation that an athelete goes through in the hours preceeding a match or an athletic event - and it came back to me on the ride home early this morning (home @ 3:05 a.m., btw). In addition, an even more personal question. "What am I going to rememeber about this place."

I was standing in the kitchen last evening realizing that this is what I've thought about (besides my family and friends who are not with me) for these past days and weeks, 24/7, and in the months in anticipation of coming to California. I'm comfortable there, at TFL, now and that familiarity breeds a sense of home and when you leave "home" there is usually sadness and a sense of longing for what you do not possess any longer. Soon, (27 days) I will no longer possess a piece of the restaurant in a personal sense. In 27 days I will then be an outsider, once again (although I can claim some identity as long as anyone still remembers the "old man"...).

Thus, "Is it what I thought it would be" and "What is the most important thing..." - the answers are simple and complex at the same time. #1 - yes. #2 everything. There, that's done.

In a larger sense, the feelings that I have can never been adequately relayed to a reader without sounding too gushy and eventually inept. To simplify things, I have encountered a part of my being that seems to be very comfortable with all of my experiences and I've become the wizened veteran that may hold the answers to eternal kitchen questions for the next generation of cooks and chefs. I'm going to be a teacher for the rest of my life. I will still cook for small parties and friends and family, but everything I see I see as a learning experience. I have an affinity for seeing lessons in everything. Just knowing that "Failure is another way to learn how to do something right" is the ultimate lesson in our quest towards perfection - and that failure can be used as a learning tool - is important to me. So - I will remember to faithfully uphold the doctrine that: "Good Cooking is the Accumulation of Small Details Done to Perfection"; that small things do matter; that there is a "Sense of Urgency" involved in everything I do; that to work clean takes total commitment; that teamwork is more important than ego; that I can never stop learning, never become complacent and get involved in what is hip and current while maintaing my culinary "roots"; that plated food is the sum of many people's efforts and all those efforts need to be acknowledged; that a stage and an extern are valueable commodities and need to be trained and guided along in order to be useful to the team dynamics; that in order for you to know how to prepare and procuce something you need an understanding of what you are trying to accomplish with a particular dish or plating.

I have often quoted the great New York Chef, Yogi Berra (kidding), who said that "You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there." I liken that to not having an understanding of methods and techniques and simply throwing random foods together with no inclination towards a concept for your guests. Or this culinary gem, "If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else." Translation into plain English - have a "Game Plan."

I've been in the industry for three and one-half decades and I have learned all the important lessons. My training at TFL is certainly the culmination of a life's work. The everyday occurances in the kitchen and restaurant of TFL are similar otr the same in many other houses of food and service. But the expectations and efforts are indeed amplified, the imagery and results are truly dignified, the sense of culinary perfection is magnified, the guests are amazingly gratified and some people there have been deified. Rightly so? I can say that those who have had the privilage of entering into that inner sanctum really do know whether it is true, or not. The experience, while only halfway home, is still unfathomable and the learning is of titantic proportions. Peace.

~R